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Resumes sent out this week: 1

Applications filled out: 0

Interviews scheduled this week: 0

Thing I am grateful for: Coupons!

Ok 2 things:

1. I haven’t been sending out a lot of resumes and applications because I have been debating for the last month if I want to leave my job or suck it up and get a third job. Yesterday, I decided I want another job . . .badly! I like the place I’m working. However, I am kinda of tired with my boss.

I am tired of having every little aspect of my job dictated to me. I am tired of having to do my job in a way that isn’t conducive to achieve the goals that were dictated to me or that I want to achieve myself. And most importantly, I’m tired of part-time work. I am getting more hours as I it is coming up on our busy season, but its a lot of manual labor (which isn’t exactly a bad thing) but I am tired of my has turning color from coffee and flavorings.

Therefore, with renewed hope . . .I am looking for a new job.

2. Grandma broke her humorous . . .and it isn’t very funny. Grandma fell a week and a half ago and hasn’t been home since. She is in a nursing home for rehab in the hopes she will return home within a week or two. She it pissed and wants to go home right now. I go visit her after work almost every day to see her. I am suffering from what is termed caregiver burnout. I haven’t posted a new post because at night I come home tired and usually take a shower, maybe eat something and go to bed.

Whats most troubling is that mom, who moved here to help take care of her mother, isn’t doing so well. She has been diagnosed with AFib and given new medication which is working. Yet, my mother is also having stomach issues. She can’t eat without getting sick and has lost 15 lbs. within the past month. She has had a couple of test, one came out clean, the other we are still waiting on. I can’t imagine taking care of two people at the same time. However, I feel I will have to.


Resumes sent out this week: 1

Applications filled out this week: Still 0

Interviews set-up for this week:

Thing I am most grateful for today: Living upstairs

Thing I wish I had the most today: Outdoor cat

Thing I fear most: Snakes!

As I am writing this, there is a snake in my backyard . . .well it was out there about an hour again, so I migrated to my bedroom on the second floor. I realize that snakes can climb. Maybe not stairs by trees at least. Fortunately, there aren’t any large trees in my yard. And I am hoping that they can’t slither up vinyl siding.

I am afraid of snakes like some people of afraid of heights, or water, or spiders! While I feel that sometimes facing your fears can be a good thing, I also feel that not all fears need to be faced and conquered. And I am happy not to conquer this fear.

Why you might ask? Why should I not conquer this fear of snakes? Well, my answer my not be genetics, but I feel it was instilled in my at birth.

My mother has always had a healthy fear of snakes. When she was little she was a bit of a priss. She didn’t get dirty, unless she was gardening. While she and her siblings spent summers with my great aunt and uncle in the country, country critters weren’t her thing.

As a child she spent time in the hay barn and tended to some chickens, yet she stayed out of the hay loft. My cousins and uncles though one day it would be a hoot-and-a-half to play in the hay loft one afternoon. To their delight, there was a snake up there. Whether the snake was dead or they killed it is debatable at this point in time. But, the truth is, there was a dead snake . . .what could they do with it? Wouldn’t it be fun to play a trick with it?

My mother it seemed would eventually be the target of this trick. As she was exiting the barn below, my cousins and uncles dropped the snake from the hay loft door.

My mother vividly recalls the feeling of the dead snake as it wrapped around her and fell to the ground. She was paralyzed with fear and couldn’t move. She screamed and peed her pants at the same time. Her scream was so loud that my great-aunt heard it in the fruit and veggie cellar 3 acres away. My great-aunt came to my mother’s rescue. And wiped away her tears, got her a change of clothes, and beat the s*** out of my cousins and uncles.

Ok, with that being said, how does my mother’s story relate to me? Well thankfully I never had to endure what my mom went through. Yet, when confronted with a snake I have the same scream-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-paralyzed-with-fear-pee-my-pants kind of reaction. And I would be happy to never overcome this fear. And while fear is not something that can be passed through genetics, I believe that my mother’s fear is so strong, that something in her very being changed. And that change was passed to me.

What do you think?

Resumes sent out this week: Still 0

Motivation to send out resumes this week: Better than average

Reason why resumes have not been sent out: The ‘rentals of course

Yesterday I posted the fb status message “Wondering when and where the day will end.” The day ended at my parents’ house.

Lately I have been noticing that for the most part I know when and where my day will usually end, unless I go to my parents’ house.

Last night I was working on revising my cover letter when I got a phone call from my mom about 8:30 pm. I had called my parents a couple of times earlier in the day, but they were out and about. So when I received the call from my mom, I just thought that she was returning my call and they were still out and about. Out . . .yes. About . . .not so much.

My mom called to let me know that she was in a car accident. She was fine, the car was not. Come to find out the car was no so much driveable, as the axle was snapped and the driver side front wheel was bent up and not touching the ground.

You see, it was dark, my mother was trying to cross a divided highway. She looked left, looked right, looked left one more time proceed to cross the first 2 of 4 lanes. BAM!!! She was hit.

The other car involved in the incident was a black older model car. It had just been purchased by the driver that day. The driver and her father had just had it inspected. Did I mention that they were driving their black, newly purchased car with no lights on . . .in the DARK!

So, after the smoke had cleared and the highway patrol showed up. Stories were given. Mom got a ticket for “Failure to yield after stopping.” Leave it up to those that govern the roads to create such an oxymornic statement. The other party received tickets. Yes that is the plural of ticket. No tags/licence, not wearing a seatbelt, and oh yes . . .no insurance.

So, on the way over to mom and dad’s house I drove by the accident site as they were towing the other car away. Lots of damage was done. I guess I am just thankful I wasn’t left alone to raise my father . . .lol.

Mom has one heck of headache today. I made sure she started on the ibuprofen last night. The car was taken to the shop for an appraisal of the damage, it’s probably a total loss. I

It would appear that I have been ragging a lot on my parents. And well, I kind of have. However, today’s entry is not about my parents, but more of parents in general.

Parents . . .ruining kids since the dawn of time. If it weren’t for parents, modern psychology would fail to exist. As I have surveyed in my 28 years of life, there are all kinds of parents. Parent that want to be your friend, parents that are strict disciplinarians, parents that fail to realize the have children and they need to be responsible, deadbeat parents, MIA parents, etc. There are all different kinds of parents.

Some of the worst parents are those with children that are overweight or a little hefty for their age. At Job 1 I see these kinds of parents more and more. And today, I almost came to my breaking point. These parents tend to be some of the world’s worst human beings.

Today at work, as I encountered such parent, it struck me that children who comfort themselves with food, tend to either 1) get fatter and use food as their primary coping mechanism through out life or 2) once the get older, stop using food as a crutch and turn to drugs, alcohol and/or sex. And the kid, looked as if she was about to turn to all three of the latter.

The kid in questions about probably in Jr. High or early High School. She was slightly over weight for her height. Def not morbidly obese by any standards. She had picked out a few outfit from the Misses side of the store and tried each one on, to the dismay of her more than slightly over weight mother and grandmother. One particular outfit included a pair of jeggings (for those of you that don’t know the term “jeggings” those are leggings that look and fasten like jeans). It was more than apparent that the jeggins weren’t going to work out in her best interest. Her mother even asked if there were any jeggings on the women side of the store. Of course, there aren’t any.

After the poor girl tried on each outfit and couldn’t find one that fit properly, her mother proceeded to tell her (or should I say shame her daughter publicly) that none of these outfits looked good on her because she was overweight and that she would not be buying her any clothes because of that fact. Did I mention that her mother did this loudly and in front of most the customers in the store???

This isn’t the first or the last time I will probably encounter this type of parental behavior. Usually the parents that are shopping with (and presumably providing money for the purchase) tend to be about the same size as their over weight child. It’s as if they are really trying to say . . .my life hasn’t been a bed of roses because I’m fat, in fact its the opposite. I don’t want you to end up this way, because I love you and am worried about your well-being. But it comes off more like . . .you are fat and worthless, and I hate you!

Sad and true. Being overweight myself, I just want to go up to these girls and say, I understand. Let me show you some things that can help you work with the body you currently have, and still keep it trendy and fashionable. By the time I can get to them, after their mother’s have done the damage it is too late to salvage that sale, along with any dignity or self-esteem they might have had before entering the store.

So, if you feel that you have become on of the parents I talked about today, it’s not to late to sit down with your child and tell them how worried you are about their health, in a positive and constructive way. Then take them out to a clothing store where the people who work there know what they are doing and how to dress every body type. I’m sure your child will thank your for it and you can find something you both agree on!

When I started this blog 2 months ago, it seemed I had a purpose. Other than a grade for a class, it was simply my journey to graduation. And now that I have graduated it seems like my blog doesn’t really have purpose anymore, other than just a place to store my ramblings and rantings.

And I realize that moving back in with my parents in the next couple of months is a depressing realization and depressing to read about. I think it would be almost blog suicide. And as depressing as it is, its 10 times more unattractive. I am beginning to feel like the spinster of the family. Yet for me and many of my friends it’s a growing reality.

So what is my purpose in for this blog and about life in general? FIND A GROWN-UP JOB!!! I really, really need to find a big girl job and fast, so that I can avoid or shorten the time I live with my parents. So for the time being, my rantings and ramblings will pertinate to the job search, living with my parents, and anything else I find amusing, interesting and/or frustrating. Enjoy!

The closer I get to the m-day (moving day) the more nervous I get. Afterall, my parents are conservative and I am . . .well . . .not so much.

While over at my parents’ house the other day, I caught my dad watching Fox News (PLEASE GOD . . .ANYTHING BUT FOX NEWS). And before dinner he was quoting Glenn Beck (PLEASE, PLEASE GOD!!!). Never mind that Fox News is a mouthpiece for the Republican party (a political party which I have no why it still exists except to be a giant c***-block). I guess what I don’t about my conservative, Republican parents . . .is the fact they used to be Democrats!!

During the 1988 election season I was in the second grade. When it came down to who my parents were pulling for, it was definitely Michael Dukakis. 4 years later in 1992 and 1996, it was Bill Clinton they were rooting for.

So what happened . . .your guess is as good as mine. Shortly before 1996 election we moved to Arkansas. In fact, just days after we moved Jim Guy Tucker resigned, thus putting into power Mike Huckabee, a former pastor turned politician. I lived in Arkansas under the rule of Huckabee for his entire reign. He seem genuine, a champion of the people. I think that this sneaky rat-b****** won my parents over to the dark, Republican side. Making them swoon, like they did over Jimmy Carter (who my parents will argue as the last great American President.) Yes, I think moving to Arkansas made my parents Republican.

You might be asking, with all that time in Arkansas, how come you aren’t a Republican?? Thats another good question. Here is what I tell everyone else. In my 28 years on the this earth we have had 3 Republican Presidents and 2 Democratic Presidents. Based on things that are important to me (the economy, gas prices, unemployment rates, women’s right, etc.) things seems a whole lot better when there was a Democrat in office. However, with our current President being a democrat and things are still in the crapper, I am beginning to rethink that.

There are two things that my parents and I agree on.

1. Obama-care sucks and is totally bulls***
2. The party that has the Executive branch should also not be the majority of the Legislative branch

Other than that . . .the debate will go on!

I can’t sleep. Can you? What’s your secret?

Lately I have had a bout of insomnia. When I was in class, I thought it was just the stress of class that was keeping me from sleeping. The night I got my grade, I slept for 13 hours! So, I just assumed that now I don’t have the stress of class, I can start sleeping again.

And you know what they say about assuming things . . .so I reconsidered my sleep strategy. I have been cutting back on my caffeine consumption (I have had 1 caffeinated beverage in the past two days). If I have caffeine it has to be before 4 pm. I haven’t had much liquor either (with the exception of the Lady Gaga contest and tonight.) So, why can’t I sleep.

Well, new idea, I am still stressed.. Stressed about finding a job, stressed about my living situation, and stressed about moving in with my parents. Don’t get me wrong, Samantha and I are fine, I am just concerned when she is going to get a job and leave me alone in this town with my parents.

Ok . . .don’t get me wrong about my parents, either. They are just really conservative people. They eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time everyday. They are both retired so they are home all the time. They don’t travel. So I will be spending many, many hours with them . . .no friends, no boys and no booze!

As I try to sleep each night (still watching episodes of Dawson’s Creek), I try to envision the life I want for myself. Where will I live, what kinds of friends will I have, what will this life look like. I think I might be getting too excited over a life I don’t have yet and a little depressed about the one in which I will be shortly living.

Oh, reality . . .you are such a b****, aren’t you? Just when I think life is about to begin, I have to move in with my parents? That’s attractive! Thanks reality for humbling me and reminding me of my place in this world. I guess that’s why western medicine has a pill for everything. DOPE ME UP!

Days to graduation: 24

I have somewhat recovered from most of my stress induced aliments. However, my hair is still falling out by the handfuls. It’s like my stress has induced spontaneous-chemo treatments. But I didn’t come here to talk about cancer or chemo or cancer induced death. Just death in general tonight.

Death never makes appointments or comes when its convenient. It’s often sad, sometimes joyous, and maybe a little bit funny. My roommate, Samantha, has seen a bit too much death in the past 18 months. Her mother died, from cancer at 62. 13 months later her father died from an irregular heart arrhythmia at 78. Samantha was not only and only child, but a late in life child to boot (she is 23).

Both of her parents wanted to be cremated. However, there was no instructions for their ashes. So therefore, the ashes are her property now. Not wanting to explain an all-to-obvious ash urn, Samantha decided on two decorative containers. One from World Market and one from Hobby Lobby. (BTW . . .if you need an ash container, def check out the selection at both stores. It’s def cheaper.) The containers sit on a bookshelf in her room.

Most people don’t recognize what those containers are (or whats in them). When they find out, they freak! Its kinda funny watching them find excuses to get out of the house! It’s not like the remains of their human bodies can get out of those sealed containers and grab you!

If they haven’t totally freaked out, then I tell them the story of arts and crafts with dad. You see. Samantha’s dad lived about 6 hours away. He died on a Monday afternoon. It was going to take a day or two before his remains could be cremated. When she went back on Friday to clean out his apartment she picked up his remains in a temporary container (aka, a plastic bag inside a cardboard box). He lived (and I use that term very, very, loosely) on our kitchen counter in his temporary container for about a week. The following Saturday we opened the box and transfer the bag with his remains into the container and sealed it up with super glue! We weighed down the top of the container with a phone book until the glue dried and she put him on the bookshelf next to her mom!

Ok, some of you are thinking . . .this story is sick! I’ll give you that. Personally, I think its kind of funny. How many 20-somethings would be willing to do something like.

My generation is known for one particularly bad thing . . .we are boomerang children. This isn’t the case with my roommate. I joke with here about the fact that I have to live with her parent. They are getting mail here. People are calling them on her phone, using up her mins. And how inconsiderate they are carrying on with those long, moaning conversations in the middle of the night. She laughs. And maybe for a minute she remembers them in a good light.

She once told me that when it was just her mom in her room that “mom watches me do the nasty!” When she brought home dad I told her that “both your parents can watch you do the nasty. . .they would be so proud.”

And speaking of doing the nasty . . .Samantha was supposed to get a drink with a guy that had a long-standing crush on her. He was so good-looking and they had a mutual friend together, David. On Friday morning this guy died of Bacterial meningitis. David also lost his grandfather a short time ago and was in the room with Samantha when her father died. I call these two “the death squad.” Obviously, they don’t want to be in this little duo. But sometimes you have to laugh . . .even when you feel like crying. Sometimes its the only thing to do when you can’t go on. Next time you think of death . . .find some humor in it.