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Have you ever watch a television show, movie, or other program, that made you feel so alive? I have. On Thursday I bought seasons 1 & 2 of Dawson’s Creek . . .a.k.a best television show ever!

When I was 15 I this was the show I anticipated the most. And needless to say it was not disappointing . . .prompting me to watch it every Tuesday (then Wednesday) night. I def rooted for Joey in her quest to win the affection of Dawson (and eventually Pacey). I watched the characters go through the same trials and tribulations as I was going through.

I have really reconnected with my 15/16-year-old self. Maybe I should say what was good about my 15/16-year-old self. While watching this show I remember what it was like to have a crush on a guy that was your best friend (and to finally get him), normal teen angst, and of course, being embarrassed by your family.

As I watch the show there are things that I don’t think I picked up on when I was watching it then. There is more sexual innuendo than I remember (and I remember a lot of sexual innuendo, my personal favorite being “flog the bishop”). And then there are other things I remember . . .like dialogue (“this baby will be 100% loved”).

What I am surprised that I remember . . .was how this show made me feel. Happy, excited, anxious, nervous, upset, frustrated and sublime bliss. Tonight, I haven’t stopped smiling . . .and it only gets bigger with every episode I watch (btw . . .I am currently watching my fifth episode of the evening Sn 2 Ep. 6). It reminds me of a time with I wasn’t so jaded about love, no matter how complicated it got. And love def gets complicated. As I am finding out, love only gets more complicated as you grow older.

Has this renewed my faith in love . . .maybe. I just know that if I could feel this way, all day, I would def hold on to what it was that gave me this feeling. However, right now its just Dawson’s Creek. And that’s good enough for me.


Days to Graduation: 7

Final Grade: B-


Ok . . the last installment of th Lady Gaga Concert experience!

Lady Gaga has a lot of set changes and even more wardrobe change. This is no small feat for anyone. As I studied theatre as an undergrad (I did complete my theatre minor) I understand how hard it is to move stages and set pieces and get them locked into position and also changing wardrobe in less than 1:30 mins can be treacherous!

I think my favorite part of the show was when she actually sat at a piano to play and sing some of her songs! Did I mention that the piano was on FIRE!!!! Or that she actually stood on the piano bench and played some song and incorporated her elegantly clad foot to help play a song. I don’t know who her piano teacher was, but mine never taught me that. I might have been a better student if I learned to play that way! Btw . . .I don’t know who told her she couldn’t play the piano good enough . . .they were wrong!

Ok . . .I know some of you are wondering what was the best outfit of the show. Well, while I liked the purple jacket and the headpiece that moved on its own was pretty cool . . .best outfit of the night goes to Bad Romance . . .The mirrored giant stud should pads . . .OMG . . .there aren’t words.

The concert was high energy for 2 hours. Def worth the money. For those of you who have yet to get to the Monster Ball . . .or those of you contemplating going . . .GO! Don’t hesitate . . .GO! If you have no one that wants to go with your . . .find the closest gay man, and take him along. Enjoy it is fantastic!!!

Days to Graduation: 8

Final Grade: Apparently M.I.A.

Likelihood of Graduation: Getting slimmer by the moment

Sorry I didn’t write last night. I should have, I slept like maybe 3 hours last night. I apparently had time. Don’t know why I didn’t. However, let’s get on with our story. However, most likely the allergies that are raging here are keeping me from doing anything really. So . . .lets move on.

Semi Precious Weapons took the stage around 8:00 pm. Usually I am up for listening to any new artist or band or any genre. I however, was not taken by the sounds coming from the this band. In all honesty I think the guitarist thought he was Jimi Hendrix incarnate. However, his musical stylings came off like a bad heavy metal guitarist and ruined my first impression of this band. The next impression, wasn’t that good either. Justin Tranter the lead singer of the band seems to have a David Bowie thing going on. Like he thinks he is David Bowie . . .without the following. To me, I thought he was too gay to function. Needless to say, I would have been happier to have missed the opening act.

Ok . . .probably not fair after I dissed this band so much but here is the benefit to my doubt. First and foremost, no matter how good or bad someone is, the fact that they courage to take the stage is something more than I myself am willing to do. So props to them for that. Moving on . . .I did a little research (and by little, I mean Google in Wikipedia and a couple of other websites) about Semi Precious Weapons and their front man. According to Wikipedia, Semi Precious Weapons is a “Filthy Glamour” brand of rock music and espouse a “Dirty Showbiz” philosophy.” I would have gone with Glam Rock . . .so maybe close. All the member of the band graduated from Berklee School of Music. Tranter also took Business Management classes and graduated after 3 years with a 3.9 GPA. Tranter also has his own line of jewelry called “fettY” that is sold at Barney’s New York. (If you feel so lead, you can check it out,default,sc.html?prefn1=designer&prefv1=fettY) I did check out the jewelry line and did not find much I liked. But then again, I really didn’t like the band so I wasn’t expecting too much.

Moving on . . .after a 20 min intermission it was time for the main event. Coming out in a spectacular purple leather motorcycle jacket complete with linebacker size gold incrusted shoulders was the one and only Lady Gaga! It was AWESOME! The first was probably my favorite with all the neon lights . . .I totally want the one that says “SexyUgly.”

What can I say about this show that probably hasn’t already. Spectacular, creative, awesome, impressive . . .the list could go on and on . . .and the list will go on in part 3. Don’t you just love cliffhangers.

Days to Graduation: 10

Final Grade: Still Unknown

Likelihood of Graduating: Slim to none

As I left you a couple of days ago, my life is still up in the air. I did receive an e-mail (actually 2 e-mails) from my professor today. (She forgot half of what she wanted to say in the first one.) She wanted to know why I left out a slide out of my presentation (I incorporated it with another slide to condense the presentation, without losing the important parts) and what was the story being conveyed by my interviewee (the story was irrelevant, the purpose behind the story was more important!). With this new development, I feel pretty sealed in my fate.

Moving on . . .

A couple of my friends kinda of know what this class is doing to me physically (just for the record, I’m having problems sleeping, I’m losing my hair by the handfuls in the shower, and I binge eat as if there were no tomorrow which leads to, upset stomach and heart burn. Not to mention, if I do get any sleep I am sometimes woken up to throw up in the middle of the night, just for fun! Really it’s not fun.) so they decided I needed a little pick-me-up.

Three months ago they purchased tickets to see Lady Gaga in Kansas City. One person backed out, so instead of letting all of facebook know about the ticket, they let me get first dibs. Sometimes opportunities show themselves and while you don’t have the money you just have to take the bull by the horns and let what will be to be. I was going to see Gaga come Hell or high water (neither of which has ensued . . .yet.)

So yesterday with my friend “Danielle” we took off for KC to meet up with Aiden and Samantha. Now, I do have to give a major shout out to Aiden as he booked us a sweet hotel in KC with an awesome view of the skyline and a free shuttle to the Sprint Center!

We arrived in KC about 4:30 and headed out dinner shortly. If you are ever in KC (either Kansas or Missouri side) look up your closest Bo Ling’s . . .you won’t be sorry. After dinner and a short trip to CVS (I left all of my make-up at home . . .GRRRR!) is was time to get ready for GAGA!

Make-up . . . check, camera . . .check, tickets . . .check, outfit . . .ok . . .so at times I felt as if I was dressed appropriately for a concert, and other times . . .not so much. Ok . . .so I didn’t wrap myself in CAUTION tape, or wear 4 inch heels, or hike up my skirt to you could see the trim of my bikini wax. (Just to let you know I wore navy blue capri leggings, a lace cami under a white wife beater, and a black vest with sandels.) True I was dressed better than the average (and sometimes creative) soccer mom, but not dressed as a true Gaga fan. (i.e caution tape outfits, black leather pants and heals, miles upon miles of white chiffon and tulle with a giant wand, and don’t forget the electrical tape pasties!)

So we make it to the Sprint center about 15 mins. before the show starts. Go to the bathroom, get a drink and get to our seat just in time to see the opening act . . .Semi Precious Weapons. More on that one tomorrow, as I need to take some allergy medication and call it a night.

Sorry I haven’t posted it a couple of days . . .my life has been a bit up in the air. After the debauched audio files incident (and consequently getting one of the files restored), losing the file for my final report, and wondering if I am going to graduate, I’m a little tired and emotionally drained.

I’m still up in the air about graduation, which puts my life up in the air about everything else. Graduate school is kinda of funny about what happens when you fail a class. For those of you that don’t know, you don’t get to retake the class next semester or the next time it’s offered, you don’t get take another class and substitute the credits . . .you get kicked out. And right now I am kinda of wondering how I am going to pay off my $35,000 of student debt if I cannot use my education to get a high paying job.

I have a 3.84 GPA as of right now. And in this class I have an 83%. It’s not for lack of trying or participation. I am just trying to figure out what the fates have in store for me. And what am I going to do if I don’t pass this class.

Stay tuned . . .it will either be one amazing triumph or on amazing nervous breakdown.

If you aren’t familiar with the website, you should get to know it very well. I am providing a link for you to check it out (after you read this post of course!)

Today is very much a FML kinda day. I am supposed to graduate in 15 days, and crisis sets in. The interview files I submitted to my instructor are corrupted. Lost and gone forever. This was worth roughly 20% of my final grade.

I figure that I am probably going to be getting a B in this class . . .fine . . .it will bring down my 3.8 GPA. However, now its is looking like a low C . . .really bringing down my GPA, and will be looking fabulous on my transcripts. It will match my grades for my undergraduate economics classes and will go great with the D I got in news reporting. It’s not longer about making it to the finish line, but how well you got there.

I am trying to take this on the chin, but that’s really hard. I need this class to graduate. If I don’t pass, I don’t graduate, simple as that. I’m sure they will probably let me walk and all, but I will still need to take one class next semester to earn the credits worthy of my graduation. And I will have to deal with the class that broke me. It will be on my transcript, like a bad stain that doesn’t come out of your favorite shirt!

In a bit, I am going to take a long bath, with a glass of wine. And probably cry myself to sleep. After 9 years of higher education, I can’t believe there is one class that broke me. One class that couldn’t do what others have succeeded and failed. I will have to deal with the fact that not matter how hard I tried there is once thing that I couldn’t tackle. The tears are welling up as I type . . .time for the tub.

I have one more project to do, and I am done with my class. I have until Sunday night at 8:00, so I have plenty of time. Finally, I can feel the stress melting away.

Tomorrow, I have what I am calling a cattle call interview. It’s really an “informational session” for an insurance company. I don’t really want to sell insurance. In fact, I don’t want to sell anything. It’s really funny when companies find out you have a marketing degree, they think you wanna do is sell, sell, sell! So, tomorrow, I am gonna go in there with my head held high, pay attention to the information, and walk out of there letting them know I am not interested in selling what ever it is they sell.

Ok, so you may be asking yourself, what is it that you are going to do with your marketing degree. Well, I am doing what I want to do currently. I do web-based marketing for a small speciality foods company. Ok . . .another question you are asking yourself is, if you are already doing what you want to do, why are you looking for a new job. Several factors influence that answer.

1. This job is temporary and can end at a moments notice
2. This job is only part-time
3. I need to get out of this town and state for a little while
4. After my friends graduate, there will be nothing to really keep me here other than a few family members.
5. Life with mom and dad is not so pretty . . .sure the bills are paid . . .but no boys, no booze, no fun!

So right now, my main focus is to finish my project and find a way to get out of Dodge, if you know what I mean. I will use tomorrow as practice for any other interviews that may come my way. Anyone out there face the same thing?

Days to Graduation: 17

All of my stress has settled into my bottom lip. Seriously. I have 4 very lovely and very painful cold sores on my bottom lip. I am so attractive right now, guys can’t stand the sight of me. Its hot . . .really hot.

Ok . . .so lets put the sarcasm aside. My lip hurts so bad and is losing skin so fast I look like an effin leper. So here is what I am thinking . . .next week I go into hiding until I stop losing my hair, my lip heals, and I stop yelling at my roommate for no reason.

However, there are somethings I have learned so far this week.

1. I am not an analytic person. I do not crave structure.
2. While I tend to ramble, I cannot handle a person who is verbose for the sake of being verbose.
3. I don’t just think outside the box . . .I think outside the box in which I have created. And my box is fuzzy and organic in shape.

Speaking of which, I need to get my fuzzy and organic in shape box in gear to find a job. Oh well . . .back to the homework board for the time being.

I would like to apologize for the short posts as of late. Next week I promise longer posts . . .or at least posts that vary in subject. Stick around . . .the best is yet to come!

Days To Graduation: 20

Stress Level: Off all charts

So tonight I had a break down. Not a big one, but still moderately sized. And I realize some things . . .I am not an analytical person! I hate structure! My boundaries are organic in nature. So to put me in a square box, does not work, and tends to make me very cranky!

It’s why I hate the class I am taking. It’s why I am so stressed out. Its I am now afraid to enter the world of work.

I was excited to graduate and find a job. And now I’m afraid I will get another inflexible boss to tells me to be flexible in a rigid world. It doesn’t work. Since I moved back to my hometown, I have had nothing but inflexible bosses who tell me to be flexible in inflexible situations they have created. I doesn’t work . . .

I am also afraid I will be a round peg in a square hole . . .meaning that I fit, but not entirely. Of course, that is my life. I have never fit in. I am truly a non-conformist. I have problems conforming, because conforming = structure and as we learn . . .I don’t do well with structure.

I am ready to move on with my life. I am ready to prove that I can move half-way across the country and be fine by myself. I am just afraid of the work environment. Oh well . . .here goes nothing!

Days to graduation: 21

Today I was lazy . . .really, really lazy. I bought 2 meals out, 2 air filters, picked up my clothes on layaway, changed an air filter on the furnace . . .and that’s really about it. I just couldn’t bring myself to do my homework.

When I get really stressed out, I tend to put as much space between myself and my stressor. I really can’t afford a day off like today, however since I slept like 12 + hours today, something is telling me that I needed this.

So tonight I am going to sleep knowing what tomorrow brings . . .lots of work. Maybe today helped me prepare for tomorrow . . .maybe.