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Resumes sent out this week: 1

Applications filled out: 0

Interviews scheduled this week: 0

Thing I am grateful for: Coupons!

Ok 2 things:

1. I haven’t been sending out a lot of resumes and applications because I have been debating for the last month if I want to leave my job or suck it up and get a third job. Yesterday, I decided I want another job . . .badly! I like the place I’m working. However, I am kinda of tired with my boss.

I am tired of having every little aspect of my job dictated to me. I am tired of having to do my job in a way that isn’t conducive to achieve the goals that were dictated to me or that I want to achieve myself. And most importantly, I’m tired of part-time work. I am getting more hours as I it is coming up on our busy season, but its a lot of manual labor (which isn’t exactly a bad thing) but I am tired of my has turning color from coffee and flavorings.

Therefore, with renewed hope . . .I am looking for a new job.

2. Grandma broke her humorous . . .and it isn’t very funny. Grandma fell a week and a half ago and hasn’t been home since. She is in a nursing home for rehab in the hopes she will return home within a week or two. She it pissed and wants to go home right now. I go visit her after work almost every day to see her. I am suffering from what is termed caregiver burnout. I haven’t posted a new post because at night I come home tired and usually take a shower, maybe eat something and go to bed.

Whats most troubling is that mom, who moved here to help take care of her mother, isn’t doing so well. She has been diagnosed with AFib and given new medication which is working. Yet, my mother is also having stomach issues. She can’t eat without getting sick and has lost 15 lbs. within the past month. She has had a couple of test, one came out clean, the other we are still waiting on. I can’t imagine taking care of two people at the same time. However, I feel I will have to.


Resumes sent out this week: Still 0

Motivation to send out resumes this week: Better than average

Reason why resumes have not been sent out: The ‘rentals of course

Yesterday I posted the fb status message “Wondering when and where the day will end.” The day ended at my parents’ house.

Lately I have been noticing that for the most part I know when and where my day will usually end, unless I go to my parents’ house.

Last night I was working on revising my cover letter when I got a phone call from my mom about 8:30 pm. I had called my parents a couple of times earlier in the day, but they were out and about. So when I received the call from my mom, I just thought that she was returning my call and they were still out and about. Out . . .yes. About . . .not so much.

My mom called to let me know that she was in a car accident. She was fine, the car was not. Come to find out the car was no so much driveable, as the axle was snapped and the driver side front wheel was bent up and not touching the ground.

You see, it was dark, my mother was trying to cross a divided highway. She looked left, looked right, looked left one more time proceed to cross the first 2 of 4 lanes. BAM!!! She was hit.

The other car involved in the incident was a black older model car. It had just been purchased by the driver that day. The driver and her father had just had it inspected. Did I mention that they were driving their black, newly purchased car with no lights on . . .in the DARK!

So, after the smoke had cleared and the highway patrol showed up. Stories were given. Mom got a ticket for “Failure to yield after stopping.” Leave it up to those that govern the roads to create such an oxymornic statement. The other party received tickets. Yes that is the plural of ticket. No tags/licence, not wearing a seatbelt, and oh yes . . .no insurance.

So, on the way over to mom and dad’s house I drove by the accident site as they were towing the other car away. Lots of damage was done. I guess I am just thankful I wasn’t left alone to raise my father . . .lol.

Mom has one heck of headache today. I made sure she started on the ibuprofen last night. The car was taken to the shop for an appraisal of the damage, it’s probably a total loss. I

It would appear that I have been ragging a lot on my parents. And well, I kind of have. However, today’s entry is not about my parents, but more of parents in general.

Parents . . .ruining kids since the dawn of time. If it weren’t for parents, modern psychology would fail to exist. As I have surveyed in my 28 years of life, there are all kinds of parents. Parent that want to be your friend, parents that are strict disciplinarians, parents that fail to realize the have children and they need to be responsible, deadbeat parents, MIA parents, etc. There are all different kinds of parents.

Some of the worst parents are those with children that are overweight or a little hefty for their age. At Job 1 I see these kinds of parents more and more. And today, I almost came to my breaking point. These parents tend to be some of the world’s worst human beings.

Today at work, as I encountered such parent, it struck me that children who comfort themselves with food, tend to either 1) get fatter and use food as their primary coping mechanism through out life or 2) once the get older, stop using food as a crutch and turn to drugs, alcohol and/or sex. And the kid, looked as if she was about to turn to all three of the latter.

The kid in questions about probably in Jr. High or early High School. She was slightly over weight for her height. Def not morbidly obese by any standards. She had picked out a few outfit from the Misses side of the store and tried each one on, to the dismay of her more than slightly over weight mother and grandmother. One particular outfit included a pair of jeggings (for those of you that don’t know the term “jeggings” those are leggings that look and fasten like jeans). It was more than apparent that the jeggins weren’t going to work out in her best interest. Her mother even asked if there were any jeggings on the women side of the store. Of course, there aren’t any.

After the poor girl tried on each outfit and couldn’t find one that fit properly, her mother proceeded to tell her (or should I say shame her daughter publicly) that none of these outfits looked good on her because she was overweight and that she would not be buying her any clothes because of that fact. Did I mention that her mother did this loudly and in front of most the customers in the store???

This isn’t the first or the last time I will probably encounter this type of parental behavior. Usually the parents that are shopping with (and presumably providing money for the purchase) tend to be about the same size as their over weight child. It’s as if they are really trying to say . . .my life hasn’t been a bed of roses because I’m fat, in fact its the opposite. I don’t want you to end up this way, because I love you and am worried about your well-being. But it comes off more like . . .you are fat and worthless, and I hate you!

Sad and true. Being overweight myself, I just want to go up to these girls and say, I understand. Let me show you some things that can help you work with the body you currently have, and still keep it trendy and fashionable. By the time I can get to them, after their mother’s have done the damage it is too late to salvage that sale, along with any dignity or self-esteem they might have had before entering the store.

So, if you feel that you have become on of the parents I talked about today, it’s not to late to sit down with your child and tell them how worried you are about their health, in a positive and constructive way. Then take them out to a clothing store where the people who work there know what they are doing and how to dress every body type. I’m sure your child will thank your for it and you can find something you both agree on!

I can’t sleep. Can you? What’s your secret?

Lately I have had a bout of insomnia. When I was in class, I thought it was just the stress of class that was keeping me from sleeping. The night I got my grade, I slept for 13 hours! So, I just assumed that now I don’t have the stress of class, I can start sleeping again.

And you know what they say about assuming things . . .so I reconsidered my sleep strategy. I have been cutting back on my caffeine consumption (I have had 1 caffeinated beverage in the past two days). If I have caffeine it has to be before 4 pm. I haven’t had much liquor either (with the exception of the Lady Gaga contest and tonight.) So, why can’t I sleep.

Well, new idea, I am still stressed.. Stressed about finding a job, stressed about my living situation, and stressed about moving in with my parents. Don’t get me wrong, Samantha and I are fine, I am just concerned when she is going to get a job and leave me alone in this town with my parents.

Ok . . .don’t get me wrong about my parents, either. They are just really conservative people. They eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time everyday. They are both retired so they are home all the time. They don’t travel. So I will be spending many, many hours with them . . .no friends, no boys and no booze!

As I try to sleep each night (still watching episodes of Dawson’s Creek), I try to envision the life I want for myself. Where will I live, what kinds of friends will I have, what will this life look like. I think I might be getting too excited over a life I don’t have yet and a little depressed about the one in which I will be shortly living.

Oh, reality . . .you are such a b****, aren’t you? Just when I think life is about to begin, I have to move in with my parents? That’s attractive! Thanks reality for humbling me and reminding me of my place in this world. I guess that’s why western medicine has a pill for everything. DOPE ME UP!

Have you ever watch a television show, movie, or other program, that made you feel so alive? I have. On Thursday I bought seasons 1 & 2 of Dawson’s Creek . . .a.k.a best television show ever!

When I was 15 I this was the show I anticipated the most. And needless to say it was not disappointing . . .prompting me to watch it every Tuesday (then Wednesday) night. I def rooted for Joey in her quest to win the affection of Dawson (and eventually Pacey). I watched the characters go through the same trials and tribulations as I was going through.

I have really reconnected with my 15/16-year-old self. Maybe I should say what was good about my 15/16-year-old self. While watching this show I remember what it was like to have a crush on a guy that was your best friend (and to finally get him), normal teen angst, and of course, being embarrassed by your family.

As I watch the show there are things that I don’t think I picked up on when I was watching it then. There is more sexual innuendo than I remember (and I remember a lot of sexual innuendo, my personal favorite being “flog the bishop”). And then there are other things I remember . . .like dialogue (“this baby will be 100% loved”).

What I am surprised that I remember . . .was how this show made me feel. Happy, excited, anxious, nervous, upset, frustrated and sublime bliss. Tonight, I haven’t stopped smiling . . .and it only gets bigger with every episode I watch (btw . . .I am currently watching my fifth episode of the evening Sn 2 Ep. 6). It reminds me of a time with I wasn’t so jaded about love, no matter how complicated it got. And love def gets complicated. As I am finding out, love only gets more complicated as you grow older.

Has this renewed my faith in love . . .maybe. I just know that if I could feel this way, all day, I would def hold on to what it was that gave me this feeling. However, right now its just Dawson’s Creek. And that’s good enough for me.

Today provided me lots of entertainment. First and foremost the “informational session” was about selling insurance and annuities. That really isn’t my cup of tea. However, there will be better opportunities down the road.

There were two things of interest to me. Jason Stackhouse and the Gay Baby! We will start with the former.

In the “informational session” I went to there was a guy who looked some much like Jason Stackhouse, it was frightening. Same blond hair, same build, same dumb doe-caught-in-headlights look in his eyes. Much like the picture below.

I kept looking at him like, OMG . . .You are the physicality of a fictional character. After he finally realized I was watching him off an on during the “informational session” he started looking back at me. I wasn’t really interested in him . . .but I think he thought that I was. It totally made the “informational session” worth it.

I really kinda thought nothing could top the Jason Stackhouse sighting. . .until I went to work. That’s where I found the Gay Baby . . .more like he found me.

Tonight was really rainy. So anyone walking by the store most likely decided to pop in to browse until the rain let up. Enter Stage Left, a mother and her child. The child is probably about 18-24 mos. and is wearing a ball cap and sitting in a stroller. The mother is wet, yet the child is not.

As the mother started walking towards me, I acknowledge her and she acknowledge me. The child proceeded to tell his mother that he was wet (from the rain . . .not the diaper). He mother assured him he was only a little wet. He proceeded to take off his hat and tell her how wet it was. Ok . . .I’m thinking . . .just a complaining kid.

Moving on, as his mother continues to browse, the kid spots a naked mannequin and says “Look . . .BOOBIES!” I ask his mother if he gets that from his father, and she assures me that is not the case. She also told me that they cannot go near a lingerie department with him, because he will scream “BOOBIES!” at the top of his lungs. I buy this and go on with my tasks.

A little while later, I here the kid say “That’s ugly. I don’t like it.” The kid doesn’t hold back. And children at this age are nothing but honest.” I turn to the mom, to which she tells me, he doesn’t like denim. Ok . . .this kid is def gay. By this point, I really want to follow the kid and his mom around to see what else comes out of his mouth. You know me. I’m always up for meeting a new gay man. However, not one so new to this Earth.

The kid is really demanding. “Take me outside,” “Put that down,” and “I’m ready to leave.” After a few mins. the rain lets up and the mom is getting ready to leave. As she leaves the kid starts screaming “Gaga, Gaga.” Ok, so the kid has a vocabulary and tends to speak in small, but complete sentences. He does babble like a baby. So I am assume that this Gaga rant pertains to the one and only Lady Gaga . . .because, what gay man doesn’t love the Gaga.

As the mother and the Gay Baby exit stage right, I hear one more of the kid’s demands. “Don’t bump my piggies.” Basically don’t run my feet into the door. What 2 year-old says that?

Today was probably one of the best days of my life. It’s really the simple things that make me happy. And apparently I can count Jason Stackhouse and Gay Babies as simple things! If I could have a gay baby, I think I might rethink children altogether . . .lol. I leave you with the gay baby test as seen on scrubs . . .enjoy!

I have one more project to do, and I am done with my class. I have until Sunday night at 8:00, so I have plenty of time. Finally, I can feel the stress melting away.

Tomorrow, I have what I am calling a cattle call interview. It’s really an “informational session” for an insurance company. I don’t really want to sell insurance. In fact, I don’t want to sell anything. It’s really funny when companies find out you have a marketing degree, they think you wanna do is sell, sell, sell! So, tomorrow, I am gonna go in there with my head held high, pay attention to the information, and walk out of there letting them know I am not interested in selling what ever it is they sell.

Ok, so you may be asking yourself, what is it that you are going to do with your marketing degree. Well, I am doing what I want to do currently. I do web-based marketing for a small speciality foods company. Ok . . .another question you are asking yourself is, if you are already doing what you want to do, why are you looking for a new job. Several factors influence that answer.

1. This job is temporary and can end at a moments notice
2. This job is only part-time
3. I need to get out of this town and state for a little while
4. After my friends graduate, there will be nothing to really keep me here other than a few family members.
5. Life with mom and dad is not so pretty . . .sure the bills are paid . . .but no boys, no booze, no fun!

So right now, my main focus is to finish my project and find a way to get out of Dodge, if you know what I mean. I will use tomorrow as practice for any other interviews that may come my way. Anyone out there face the same thing?

Days to graduation: 24

I have somewhat recovered from most of my stress induced aliments. However, my hair is still falling out by the handfuls. It’s like my stress has induced spontaneous-chemo treatments. But I didn’t come here to talk about cancer or chemo or cancer induced death. Just death in general tonight.

Death never makes appointments or comes when its convenient. It’s often sad, sometimes joyous, and maybe a little bit funny. My roommate, Samantha, has seen a bit too much death in the past 18 months. Her mother died, from cancer at 62. 13 months later her father died from an irregular heart arrhythmia at 78. Samantha was not only and only child, but a late in life child to boot (she is 23).

Both of her parents wanted to be cremated. However, there was no instructions for their ashes. So therefore, the ashes are her property now. Not wanting to explain an all-to-obvious ash urn, Samantha decided on two decorative containers. One from World Market and one from Hobby Lobby. (BTW . . .if you need an ash container, def check out the selection at both stores. It’s def cheaper.) The containers sit on a bookshelf in her room.

Most people don’t recognize what those containers are (or whats in them). When they find out, they freak! Its kinda funny watching them find excuses to get out of the house! It’s not like the remains of their human bodies can get out of those sealed containers and grab you!

If they haven’t totally freaked out, then I tell them the story of arts and crafts with dad. You see. Samantha’s dad lived about 6 hours away. He died on a Monday afternoon. It was going to take a day or two before his remains could be cremated. When she went back on Friday to clean out his apartment she picked up his remains in a temporary container (aka, a plastic bag inside a cardboard box). He lived (and I use that term very, very, loosely) on our kitchen counter in his temporary container for about a week. The following Saturday we opened the box and transfer the bag with his remains into the container and sealed it up with super glue! We weighed down the top of the container with a phone book until the glue dried and she put him on the bookshelf next to her mom!

Ok, some of you are thinking . . .this story is sick! I’ll give you that. Personally, I think its kind of funny. How many 20-somethings would be willing to do something like.

My generation is known for one particularly bad thing . . .we are boomerang children. This isn’t the case with my roommate. I joke with here about the fact that I have to live with her parent. They are getting mail here. People are calling them on her phone, using up her mins. And how inconsiderate they are carrying on with those long, moaning conversations in the middle of the night. She laughs. And maybe for a minute she remembers them in a good light.

She once told me that when it was just her mom in her room that “mom watches me do the nasty!” When she brought home dad I told her that “both your parents can watch you do the nasty. . .they would be so proud.”

And speaking of doing the nasty . . .Samantha was supposed to get a drink with a guy that had a long-standing crush on her. He was so good-looking and they had a mutual friend together, David. On Friday morning this guy died of Bacterial meningitis. David also lost his grandfather a short time ago and was in the room with Samantha when her father died. I call these two “the death squad.” Obviously, they don’t want to be in this little duo. But sometimes you have to laugh . . .even when you feel like crying. Sometimes its the only thing to do when you can’t go on. Next time you think of death . . .find some humor in it.